When we lost my dad, I was worried about my mum. My dad really loved and adored her. She was the most beautiful person in his eyes. It is difficult to imagine how it must feel to have lost that kind of love.
I knew that my mum was a person with great strength. Growing up, I watched her as she experienced the deaths of many loved ones. When I was in primary school, she went to the hospital almost everyday to spend time with my grandfather until he passed away. When I was older, she spent time with my uncle, who was diagnosed with cancer, almost everyday until his death. After that, she visited my grandmother in her home as often as she could until her death. It saddens me to think that after so many years of unconditional love for her loved ones, Mum is now suffering in health herself.
When we were told that my dad was considered brain dead, I did not know how she might react – especially at a time when she was vulnerable and unwell.
At the hospital, we were told that we could not bring our mum with us until visiting hours. We were told that we would have to leave as well and come back.
I had to deliver the news about Dad to my mum on a video call. She messaged me. She wanted to know and she wanted us to call her. She was mentally prepared for it.
When we spoke to her, she tried to make it easier for me as I explained to her what the doctor had said to us. She said she understood what I was saying and that it was similar to how my grandmother died.
I told her that we would go and get her, and we’d go and see Dad in a few hours when it was visiting hours.
It was really heartbreaking to lose my dad, especially at a time when we had just found out that my mum was unwell. However, it was also a blessing to see my dad fulfilling his marriage vows to love and care for my mum in sickness and in health. He was by her side until the very end of his life.
People say that the examples we have in our formative years shape how we view and experience relationships in our adult years.
To me, my parents are role models of the most loving couple that anyone could ever ask for in their parents.